Most of you know by now that I made an announcement
a few weeks back and we are expecting another little bundle joy to be joining our brood. So I thought I'd bare my soul a little more here and answer some questions, clear some things up and share bits and pieces with you about this pregnancy and our journey to be parents.
I know this is not a post you would normally read here, but it's very important to me personally so I hope you will indulge me. As some readers who have followed me from my old blog to here know (and for those who don't know) that the Ben and I have had a rocky road with pregnancy and loss. This baby I'm carrying now is not my third pregnancy, my fourth and even my fifth pregnancy, it's in fact my sixth pregnancy. We have said goodbye to four sweet angels in five years, including our twin girls half way through my first pregnancy. I have blogged the rawness and heartbreak on my old blog, you are welcomed to read more there
but be warned I have bared everything there and not held back.
What others may or may not know is that as a result of Elle and Meg's loss and subsequent losses between Cohen and Sarah, I suffer Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). I have also been challenged by Obsessive Compulsive ritualistic thoughts, which I've hinted at here on the blog with references to my wardrobe being in a rebuild mode. These two factors present me with challenges and spikes with my disorders because even with my successful pregnancies I have had big scares and threatened losses. But hey I must grow fighters too (not to say my others weren't) because I have Cohen and Sarah to show for things.
Now having said all of the above I have been determined to push through all the losses and challenges to find my bliss, my happiness and my joy in life. Despite everything and the dark moments, I chase a fulfilled life constantly and smile and rejoice in my blessings each day. With all my hang ups and issues aside, I'm determined with this pregnancy to push the boundaries on my fears to give myself the best chance and last chance (this will be our last babe) to enjoy and do all the things I've been too fearful of every other time since Elle and Meg. It's therefore a massive deal to me personally to be sharing things openly here, even being brave enough to continue to do style posts and not bury my head in the sand.
I just wanted to take a moment with this post to share more of me with you, so you understand me and this journey a little better. I feel safe in doing so because I have only ever encountered support, love and kindness through this beautiful blogging community. With all that being said there is a baby to grow, joys to be had and I hope you'll indulge me with pregnancy and baby posts. But if you know me well enough, and I think most of you do by now, you'll know somehow, someway everything ends up taking on a vintage spin.
Labels: family, Personal Life