For me and my girls....

Posts aren't often serious and extremely personal around here (sometimes they are but not often at all) but this one is. This past week has been one of the toughest emotionally I've had in quite some time in the lead up to my twin girls memorial day tomorrow. I put it down to life, being pregnant and being caught out unexpectedly by people's comments and questioning of me this week.

Tomorrow marks five years since we lost our sweet girls Elle and Meg halfway through our first pregnancy. I know some of you have read the full story of myself, Elle and Meg here and here on my old blog. You're welcomed to pop over and take a read, otherwise I understand if you don't, it's extremely intense emotional reading.

But this post for now is about this being my place and moment in time to be open and take stock, reflect, remember, be thankful and grateful for my life despite the enormity of what I feel sometimes.

So to my sweet dear angel girls, although not a day goes by where you are not in my thoughts. I'm thankful for our time together, even though it wasn't a life together, just time together in your womb home. I understand things just weren't meant to be that you were just so unique and precious (Elle and Meg were mono-mono twins extremely rare type of twins that make up 1% of all twin pregnancies). I know I couldn't have done anything more or better to ensure your journey to a life with us here at home. I feel your presence in my life every day, and often think the two of you are guiding your brother and sister and their antics. Seriously what those two get up to sometimes is just too much for two kids and I often think the two of you play into that energy and set me up for some of the most comical moments I have ever encountered.

I receive your messages and I know you're there, thank you for the blooming flowers on your memorial hibiscus tree. Those huge yellow flowers make me smile wide and appreciate all the colour I have in my world to be thankful for, from those who fill my life to the uniqueness my life has taken on.

Because of you my life is forever changed, but so, so, so full of incredible blessings and opportunities.

Because of you we have Cohen and Sarah and your brother on the way in August.

Because of you I know not to rush ahead planning too far into the future and enjoy the now, this moment.

Because of you I have no fear anymore, I just attack things with the attitude...what's the worse that could happen?

Because of you I have a full incredible life as a stay at home mum, a blogger, a communicator, a business women, a creative, a dream chaser and so much more but most of all.....a mum, your mum.

Because of you I am all that I am and more. I am strong, powerful and confident. I'm not a victim, I'm just someone with a story, with a life with blessings despite your absence.

Because of you I love big.

I love you, both of you, with all of my heart and more.

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My Vintage Childhood: For me and my girls....

Friday, May 24, 2013

For me and my girls....

Posts aren't often serious and extremely personal around here (sometimes they are but not often at all) but this one is. This past week has been one of the toughest emotionally I've had in quite some time in the lead up to my twin girls memorial day tomorrow. I put it down to life, being pregnant and being caught out unexpectedly by people's comments and questioning of me this week.

Tomorrow marks five years since we lost our sweet girls Elle and Meg halfway through our first pregnancy. I know some of you have read the full story of myself, Elle and Meg here and here on my old blog. You're welcomed to pop over and take a read, otherwise I understand if you don't, it's extremely intense emotional reading.

But this post for now is about this being my place and moment in time to be open and take stock, reflect, remember, be thankful and grateful for my life despite the enormity of what I feel sometimes.

So to my sweet dear angel girls, although not a day goes by where you are not in my thoughts. I'm thankful for our time together, even though it wasn't a life together, just time together in your womb home. I understand things just weren't meant to be that you were just so unique and precious (Elle and Meg were mono-mono twins extremely rare type of twins that make up 1% of all twin pregnancies). I know I couldn't have done anything more or better to ensure your journey to a life with us here at home. I feel your presence in my life every day, and often think the two of you are guiding your brother and sister and their antics. Seriously what those two get up to sometimes is just too much for two kids and I often think the two of you play into that energy and set me up for some of the most comical moments I have ever encountered.

I receive your messages and I know you're there, thank you for the blooming flowers on your memorial hibiscus tree. Those huge yellow flowers make me smile wide and appreciate all the colour I have in my world to be thankful for, from those who fill my life to the uniqueness my life has taken on.

Because of you my life is forever changed, but so, so, so full of incredible blessings and opportunities.

Because of you we have Cohen and Sarah and your brother on the way in August.

Because of you I know not to rush ahead planning too far into the future and enjoy the now, this moment.

Because of you I have no fear anymore, I just attack things with the attitude...what's the worse that could happen?

Because of you I have a full incredible life as a stay at home mum, a blogger, a communicator, a business women, a creative, a dream chaser and so much more but most of all.....a mum, your mum.

Because of you I am all that I am and more. I am strong, powerful and confident. I'm not a victim, I'm just someone with a story, with a life with blessings despite your absence.

Because of you I love big.

I love you, both of you, with all of my heart and more.

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26 Comments:

At May 24, 2013 at 3:37 PM , Blogger Melissa {Suger} said...

Beautiful post Trudie, I'm sure your girls are proud that you took so much from their time here. Not everyone has the guts to do that. Take a bad situation and see beauty in it. I'm not sure I'm saying that right but I know you'll get me. Sending big love lady. xo

 
At May 24, 2013 at 6:34 PM , Blogger Kitty said...

A bump in the road, esp. at this emotional (i.e.pregnant) time. But you're very lucky you have 2 others, not to mention Ben & the incoming, who are with us in person today, that you can focus your love on.xx.

 
At May 24, 2013 at 7:21 PM , Blogger Trudie said...

I get you Hun, I get exactly what you're saying and the sentiment. Thank you for stopping by leaving your love and sweet words. X

 
At May 24, 2013 at 7:24 PM , Blogger Trudie said...

Exactly the difficult times are just bumps in the road, I just treat them like waves of the ocean with their ebbs and flows. I know I'm incredibly lucky despite everything and I don't take those blessings for granted. Thanks for stopping by Hun.

 
At May 24, 2013 at 9:24 PM , Blogger Iliska Dreams said...

I understand, I lost Peony November 2010. The pain is always there, so is my love for her. My partner and I both got peonies tattooed on our arms. My little girl is always with me. She made way for her brother.
Tomorrow do what ever you need to do to help your heart
xx

 
At May 24, 2013 at 9:32 PM , Blogger Anne @ Domesblissity said...

Thinking of you Trudie. Much love. xx

 
At May 24, 2013 at 11:39 PM , Blogger pastcaring said...

Of course you will always have your memories and thoughts of your girls, but there is so much to be happy about in the here and now, isn't there? Thinking of you. xxx

 
At May 25, 2013 at 3:51 AM , Blogger Rainbow Vintage Home said...

Thinking of you lovely Trudie. xxx

 
At May 25, 2013 at 9:04 AM , Blogger Cassandra said...

All my love and hugs to you and your family today hun xoxo

 
At May 25, 2013 at 9:25 AM , Blogger SlapdashMama said...

So beautiful Trudie, and sad, so sad, but your words are just lovely and full of hope. Sending you hugs x

 
At May 25, 2013 at 1:19 PM , Blogger Vintage Bird Girl said...

Lovely post from an amazing Mummy. I'm so sorry you have endured so much pain, but I trust that you will see your sweet girls again some day. Xx

 
At May 25, 2013 at 4:41 PM , Blogger Allison said...

hi sweet trudie...thinking of you and mister V today. Embrace the day, embrace each other. x

 
At May 25, 2013 at 9:39 PM , Blogger Sunae Reilly said...

Beautiful tribute to your girls, Trudie xx

 
At May 25, 2013 at 10:02 PM , Blogger Trudie said...

Oh my love. Big love to you. X

 
At May 25, 2013 at 10:03 PM , Blogger Trudie said...

Thank you Anne.

 
At May 25, 2013 at 10:03 PM , Blogger Trudie said...

I am blessed despite it all. X

 
At May 25, 2013 at 10:04 PM , Blogger Trudie said...

Thank you sweetie.

 
At May 25, 2013 at 10:04 PM , Blogger Trudie said...

Thank you Cass. X

 
At May 25, 2013 at 10:05 PM , Blogger Trudie said...

Thanks for your sweet encouraging words.

 
At May 25, 2013 at 10:06 PM , Blogger Trudie said...

One day when I am old I'm sure we will.
Thank you for your sweet words my love.

 
At May 25, 2013 at 10:07 PM , Blogger Trudie said...

Thank you precious. It's been a good day no tears despite them most days this week. X

 
At May 25, 2013 at 10:08 PM , Blogger Trudie said...

Thank you sweetie. X

 
At May 26, 2013 at 10:26 AM , Blogger Renee said...

It was such an honour to read your story in full & spend yesterday with you. You are an amazingly beautiful woman xxx

 
At May 26, 2013 at 3:15 PM , Blogger Trudie said...

Aww Née thank you. I enjoyed yesterday immensely, it was just what I needed. Thank you for your sweet words.

 
At May 26, 2013 at 5:05 PM , Blogger Erica Louise said...

Such a difficult time of the year for you Trudie, lots of love and thoughts xx

 
At May 28, 2013 at 2:20 PM , Blogger Trudie said...

Thanks for the love Erica. X

 

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